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Jan. 14th, 2012

new year, new me?

started externship on the 9th & it's going great so far. Things between me & Chris are pretty much over, and as weird as it sounds, I'm not stressing too much about it. I guess maybe because I had been expecting it for so long, it doesnt surprise me. Well I hope he finds his true calling & his own path to happiness. It was beautiful while it lasted.
I have so many other things on my plate still, so I'll continue to not look for anyone else until I at least get my future career together & can get settled somewhere new. I hope this year turns out halfway descent despite all the crap I've had to go through in the last 2 months.

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Sep. 13th, 2011

(no subject)

Hopefully I'll pass my a&p vocab test today, because im so stressed & depressed about last night's talk w/ chris that I can't fucking concentrate on anything. My chest hurts & I almost feel like crying. I never wanted him to feel hurt or abandoned. I felt I was doing the right thing to make a future for us. Now it just seems that its ruining my relationship w/ the person I love most. Am I really doing the right thing?

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Sep. 9th, 2011

Term 2

Week 1 of term 2 is almost done. So far just Bs, so i have to step up my game. The Urinary/Male Reproductive systems should be interesting, but what I'm really looking forward to is the labs.

I also found a job w/ Macys, which is cool, but I don't know how I feel about this commission thing. I'm going to try it out for a couple of weeks, to see how it goes. If it doesn't work out (and I have the feeling it won't), I'll just stick it out until I find something else that I'm more comfortable doing. I've never really been the greatest salesperson so I may have to go somewhere else for employment.

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Aug. 24th, 2011

week 4


the physical move is finally done. Chris & I ended up selling the couch, end table, and coffee table from the living room to our friend Ricky for 200. I still have to get the chest to Kate's somehow because she said she would take it for 50. but im now starting to think that maybe she's planning on ripping me off because she has no job & she hasnt responded back to me yet when i asked her about taking it to her house. So I might make it available for sale again soon if I don't hear anything.
school is ok, but its very hard to concentrate when all i can think about is the fact that i havent had anyone call me about a job yet, my car payment is overdue, i cant see or hardly talk to chris, and everything else in between. if i dont find a job soon, i'll be in some serious shit & the depression will just sink in much deeper.

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Aug. 9th, 2011

not too bad


I made a 98% on my first exam! it gives me hope for future tests :0)

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Aug. 5th, 2011

first week down


it's the end of the 1st school week, and though it started out pretty rough, the material is starting to come together & is easier to understand than it was on the first day. i still have to study a lot of material from A & P, but for the most part its not too bad. but now i have to enjoy a night off by seeing Chris's band play at a bar called Beer Goggles in Largo. It's a cool place but I don't really know anyone else here but Chris, Joe, Pat & Brandon, and i feel a little out of place. Dont feel punk enough to be here but as long as Chris is here I'm good.

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Jul. 31st, 2011

first school night

it's my 1st school night & im smoking a cigarette, with a soggy ass (thanks to florida rain). Ripley is fine & im about to shower before going to bed. wish me luck on getting decent sleep. g'night.

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Jul. 30th, 2011

Birthday

Today was Mom's 60th birthday. For the last month or 2, she kept talking about how she didnt want to do anything in public that would run the risk of attention being drawn to her. But last minute, she decides to do dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse at 4pm.
It was ok, but we just went back to Moms house to do laundry and I didnt leave until about 10:15. Lindsey & Josh are leaving for Miami tomorrow so they can be on their cruise ship on Monday. I'm petsitting for them & watching Ripley until they get back on Friday. At least I'll have a comfortable place to sleep during my first week of school.

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Jul. 28th, 2011

Anchors Away My Friends


So. This is it. The end of a 4 1/2 year work streak with Bank of America/Countrywide as a paper pusher. i will miss all of the people I worked with, but I have to make a better life for myself. and I'm not giving up the opportunity when the right time is now. Hopefully Chris will be on the supportive bandwagon when he's moved out & done stressing out over his own issues.

My next step is to find a part time job that will allow me to work nights and weekends. I think the only way I'd get back into the restaurant biz is if I can get hired somewhere like The Lucky Dill (hope theyre still looking for people for their new US 19 location opening next month). I don't know what it is, but I've always liked delis. It's probably the Jew in me. :0)

Anyways, guess I'll start looking online and then relax with some cross stitching.

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